Welcome to debbiekuhn.com

2016 Stanley Hotel Writers Retreat

Sep 13 15

Happy autumn! I’m looking forward to Halloween, of course. And I’m already looking ahead to a special event in October of 2016 as well, which I hope I’ll be able to attend – finally!

The Stanley Hotel Writers Retreat will be held at the historic place in Estes Park, Colorado that inspired Stephen King to write “The Shining.” Author R.J. Cavender has started a contribution site on Indiegogo to fund the convention for writers, readers and artists alike.

Go here to check it out and contribute.

Save the dates: October 20 – 23, 2016. One special guest will be novelist Chuck Palahniuk. Other events taking place during that weekend will be the Murder Mystery Dinner and the Shining Masquerade Ball.

Info excerpt from the website:

Your registration does include all our group discount perks, select editing packages, inclusion on any outings/trips over the weekend, author events, and a guaranteed party in Room 217. Starting this year all Stanley Hotel Writers Retreat guests who purchase an editing package will also receive a FREE TICKET to our special late-night ghost hunt and writing exercise, The Overnight Paranormal Write in the haunted Concert Hall at The Stanley Hotel. Stay through Sunday, write with ghosts!

It all sounds fabulous to me. Take my advice and start planning your trip today!

 

 

12th Annual Ken-Ducky Derby

Aug 29 15

Another hectic summer is almost over. Thought I’d take the time to post about a favorite charity event taking place here on the waterfront in the Derby City next month: the 12th Annual Harbor House of Louisville Ken-Ducky Derby. Adopt a duck for a good cause – help light the way for people with disabilities by paying a small sum to adopt a duck. If your duck wins the race on the Ohio River, you will win a grand prize (there will also be 2nd, 3rd and 4th place winners).

Go here.

From the Harbor House website:

“We are planning a fun-filled day on the Waterfront for the 12th edition of the Ken-Ducky Derby! Our event will take place Saturday, September 26, 2015. If you would like to donate your time, money, items, activities, smiles and any/everything else to make it a great success, we would appreciate your support! And of course you’re at the right place to adopt your ducks!”

 

Hope everyone has a happy, safe Labor Day Weekend! Check back here soon for more story excerpts and reviews of books and movies.

 

 

 

 

“BAR HOPPING” – EXCERPT

Jul 15 15

Where did June go? I meant to post this latest excerpt last month, but here it is the middle of July. Another crazy hectic summer. Hope everyone in my part of the world is surviving the floods, storms and tornadoes.

Here’s a horror short story I wrote a few years ago about a desperate young woman tempted by the dark side. Hope this excerpt proves to be a good distraction.

BAR HOPPING

The Chicago River ran slow and murky with green dye, a result of the city’s annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration. Twilight had fallen and the wind had turned brisk, but still I walked the shadowy streets, feeling more alone than I’d ever felt before. More alone than when I’d first become an orphan at the age of five.

Four years ago Matt Sheridan had come into my life and everything had seemed right with the world. Matt and Cassidy, together forever.

Now everything was worse than wrong. I finally felt ready to accept the diagnosis I’d received in December.

“I’m sorry, Miss McClure,” Doctor #3 had said. “This type of brain tumor is inoperable.”

Six months, maybe. The headaches would get worse, and they warned me about other possible side effects – slurred speech, memory loss, blurred vision, loss of balance, etc.

What about hallucinations? That would be nice. That would explain why I’d seen Matt swapping fluids with “Trashy Tristan” in the shower earlier this evening.

My shower, technically, because it was actually my apartment. Matt had given up his place to move in with me not long after we’d met. Late last year he’d begun hinting at a Christmastime proposal, but then we’d gotten the bad news right before the holidays: I wouldn’t live to see twenty-nine.

I hadn’t given up hope on our future. Not even when I’d found the diamond engagement ring in Matt’s desk drawer right after Valentine’s Day. He was just waiting for me to be cured, waiting for me to find an alternative treatment. Then he’d propose.

Oh, how wrong I’d been. It was obvious now that Matt had already given up on me and moved on. Tall, dark, handsome Matthew had been seduced by the vacuous blonde his architectural firm had hired to answer the phones. I thought he’d have better taste. I thought he’d at least choose someone who looked like me – a statuesque, intelligent brunette who was filthy cute and Irish.

They didn’t know I’d seen them. I’d been in shock, unable to utter a sound.

I’d cut short my visit with a childhood friend who lived down in Joliet. I’d decided to come home, put on a fancy dress and join Matt at his office party. I wanted to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with the person I loved the most.

But my boyfriend had other plans. I stumbled out of our apartment high rise on Lakeshore Drive and began walking around the Windy City, feeling like a zombie. I couldn’t even cry.

I followed the river, ignoring the Irish – and not so Irish – revelers hopping from pub to pub. Somehow I ended up in front of the office building where I worked as a CPA. How much longer would I be able to crunch numbers?

Why did I even care? Come Monday, I would hand in my resignation.

The sidewalks teemed with manic young people. Saturday night and everyone wanted to pretend they were Irish so they could drink a gallon of Guinness and sing like fools.

I threaded my way through a group of college kids smoking outside a crowded, noisy bar.

“Hey, baby,” crooned a guy with caramel-colored hair and peach fuzz on his chin, “you should kiss me ‘cause I’m Irish.”

I stepped past him without making eye contact. “Sorry, but that’s not a good enough reason.”

His buddies cracked up.

I could have been ruder and enjoyed it. Suddenly I felt like I could get away with anything – one of the perks of being handed a death sentence.

Darkness fell and my thoughts grew darker, too, as I continued to wander the gaslight neighborhood like a lost soul. Couples passed me, talking and laughing and holding hands.

The same question kept running through my mind.

Why, Matt? Why did you betray me when I needed you most?

I didn’t want to think about going home. What if Tristan were still there? I had no idea what I might do if I saw her wrapped around my boyfriend again. Although, scratching the bitch’s eyes out and kicking Matt in the balls sounded like a good plan. At the very least, I’d have to boot their asses out of my apartment.

I’d just rounded a corner onto Rodolfo Street, wrapped up in a revenge fantasy, when I happened to notice a trio of strange figures crouched on the roof above Finnegan’s Pub. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared, wondering if I was finally having a hallucination.

The three were dark and gargoyle-like. I let out a tiny gasp when the middle one suddenly did a swan dive towards the sidewalk, disappearing like a spirit inside an inebriated businessman who’d just stepped out of the bar. The man stiffened up straight as a board for a few seconds, and then relaxed. His face wore a pleased expression.

I watched him stroll jauntily out into the traffic, narrowly avoiding disaster before reaching the other side of the street. He ignored the horn honking and quickly entered a dance club.

I turned my attention back to the other two creatures that were still perched on the roof of the pub – just in time to see the one on the right dive feet first into a black guy who looked tall enough to be a pro basketball player. The possessed bar patron went rigid for only a few seconds. He then lunged forward and pushed an elderly gentleman aside, jumping into the cab the old man had just hailed. The taxi drove off in a hurry.

The bewildered gent caught my eye and shook his head in disgust. “Young people these days respect nothing and nobody – not even themselves.”

I nodded, but said nothing as he walked past me.

When I looked up again, the third creature was gone. I scanned the nearby rooftops but saw nothing unusual. Had I imagined everything? Was my brain tumor to blame?

I rubbed my aching temples and sighed. Why couldn’t I hallucinate a date with Channing Tatum?

“No such luck, Cass. You’ll be buying your own drinks tonight.”

A middle-aged couple glanced at me sympathetically as they ambled by, and I decided to stop talking to myself in public. Enough with the self-pity. I wasn’t in the mood for company anyway – but I needed a few Long Island Iced Teas. Hell, I deserved a reward for not killing my lowlife boyfriend and his little blonde slut.

I entered the cool, dimly lit interior of Finnegan’s Pub – a favorite haunt of mine. My foster parents had owned a bar similar to Finnegan’s. I’d practically been raised in it.

I paused for a moment near the doorway, my eyes searching the crowded tables and booths for an empty seat. The place was hopping, but at least the noise level was tolerable. I noticed a couple of empty stools at the far end of the mahogany bar, and I made a beeline for the last one.

I sat down and immediately heard a boisterous chuckle. Riley the bartender appeared before me with a thick-lipped grin on his face. He’d once been a heavy-weight boxer. Now he was just heavy.

“Doll face! It’s been a while. What’s my favorite Irish lass been up to, eh?”

Sticky question.

“Oh, been busy. Life’s been throwing me a few curve balls lately.”

“Man, don’t ya hate it when that happens?” Riley finished wiping up a spilled beer and then grinned at me again. “Tell ya what – first drink’s on the house. You want the usual?”

“Pretty please.”

“I’ll have whatever she’s having,” said a soft, husky voice.

Riley and I both glanced over at the slender redhead who’d just taken the seat next to me. She was dressed to the nines in midnight blue, and had on heels that were high enough to cause a nosebleed.

“Two Long Island Iced Teas coming right up.”

Riley went off to fill our orders and I suddenly felt too warm. I peeled off my tight-fitting white leather jacket and folded it across my lap.

“Hey, I’m Simone,” the redhead said, offering me her hand.

I shook it. “Cassidy. Cass, if you prefer.”

“Pretty name for a pretty lady. It’s a real shame.”

“What is?”

“That you’re dying.”

I stared at her, amazed and devastated to hear those words spoken out loud.

“How did you know that?”

Simone gave me a humorless smile. “Because I saw you looking at me, at us, on the roof a little while ago. Only humans who are close to death can see demons.”

I blinked. The lady was either pulling my leg or she was a total nutcase.

I cleared my throat, looking her straight in the eye. “You look like a human to me. Besides, brain tumors cause hallucinations. I might even be imagining this conversation right now.”

She chuckled and would have said something in reply if Riley hadn’t shown up with our drinks.

“I’ve got this round,” she said, paying him and adding on a generous tip.

Riley gave her a wide grin. “Thanks, doll.”

When he walked away, she took a sip out of the glass and then looked over at me.

“Riley knows I’m real. If you think about it a minute you’ll know how I borrowed this woman’s body. Remember what you saw outside?”

Yeah, I remembered – drunks being violated by monsters. I had to assume that drug addicts, and perhaps even sleepwalkers, were all easy prey for possession.

“So, you’re ugly and evil?”

Simone stared at me and for a brief moment her blue eyes glowed a furious red.

“Evil is simply a point of view. I would also say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I can’t deny that I gave up my looks to be Lucifer’s bitch.”

I took a gulp of my Long Island Iced Tea and shook my head. “This can’t be happening.”

“You’ve been in denial for way too long. It’s time you faced the facts and considered all your options. You’re lucky our paths crossed tonight.”

“Lucky? I’ve never been lucky, ever.”

“Exactly. What has God ever done for you? Has he ever answered any of your prayers?”

I’d only prayed once since I was a child. That was right after my diagnosis.

Simone watched the dismal play of emotions on my face and continued. “This world was created for His amusement. Humans are pawns in a game – He’s competing with Lucifer for your souls. You don’t have much time left, Cass, and God doesn’t care enough to perform miracles anymore. He isn’t going to cure you.”

“And the Devil will?”

“Think outside the box. My boss can be a lot more lenient and fair than Mr. High and Mighty. He is an angel, after all.”

“A fallen angel. What can he do for me and what does he expect in return?”

“He can give you the same deal he gave me a century ago. As soon as you die, you’ll become a chaos demon. You’ll have one thousand years to roam the earth before reporting for duty in Hell. You’ll be able to possess humans the way I can – enjoy all the pleasures you once enjoyed. Cause a ton of mischief and convert others to our side.”

“You make it sound awfully simple.” I downed the last dregs of my drink.

Simone’s sigh was nearly inaudible. “Well, there is one important, unpleasant detail I’ve yet to mention.”

I raised an eyebrow. “And that would be?”

“You’ll need to commit suicide.”

“Excuse me? Aren’t I already dying, and soon?”

“Yes, but we have no way of knowing which direction your soul will go once you’ve died.
Killing yourself is the only way to ensure you’ll end up on Lucifer’s team.”

“Lovely. Do I have to give you an answer tonight?”

“No, you can have a couple of days to think it over. Meet me here around the same time Monday evening. I won’t be wearing this body anymore, but you’ll know who I am.”
 

“THE POWER OF MOONLIGHT” – EXCERPT

May 17 15

It’s been a busy spring! Thought I’d check in here and leave an excerpt from one of the short horror tales included in my eBook, “The White Death and Otherly Ghastly Ghost Stories.”  It’s called “The Power of Moonlight” – a teenaged girl wants to bring back her dead lover by using a special kind of magic. (To read more, check out my author page on Amazon.)

THE POWER OF MOONLIGHT

Bobby Lee Blackburn got killed exactly three weeks before he was to marry his childhood sweetheart at the New Hope Baptist Church. He died just the way he feared he would–deep underground, alone in the dark, his body entombed forever.

Priscilla Stevens had decided to worship Bobby Lee when they were seven years old. On the day she fell in love, he’d been chasing her around Old Man Griffey’s fish pond and she’d tripped and fallen in. Bobby Lee had grabbed hold of her long, strawberry-blonde ponytail and had yanked her out of the water before she could drown.

That boy would always be her hero, even after he broke her heart.

The first time he left her was when they were twelve. His daddy found a better job over in Virginia, and he and his parents moved away from Harlan County. Pris had cried herself to sleep every night for two weeks, keeping her Granny Maeve awake.

About a month after Bobby Lee had gone away, the old lady woke Pris late one night and told her they’d be taking a walk up the winding mountain trail behind their farmhouse. The two of them sneaked down the back staircase and left without waking Pris’ mother.

The full October moon revealed the goldenrod in bloom, and the air smelled crisp and clean and dry. Granny Maeve’s knees cracked and popped a little during the climb, but otherwise no sound could be heard except for a light wind rustling through the trees. Nestled in the narrow valley below, the coal town of Russell Fork had fallen silent, with only a few lights left twinkling to give away its presence.

They kept going until they reached a rocky plateau, barren except for a lone sycamore tree. Granny Maeve found a large flat stone to sit on and motioned for Priscilla to join her.

“This spot will do. We can see the Blood Moon and it can see us.”

Pris wondered why it was called a Blood Moon when it wasn’t even red, but she stayed quiet and watched as her grandma fished around in the pockets of her gray wool sweater. The old woman pulled out a small vial of what she called her “sacred” oil, and then a photograph. The picture had been taken at Pris’ birthday party in January. Her mother, Dorie, had snapped a photo of Pris and Bobby Lee sitting next to each other at the kitchen table. Pris was leaning forward, getting ready to blow out the candles on her chocolate cake.

“An only child and an only child,” Granny Maeve muttered. She smeared a dab of oil onto the picture and handed it to Priscilla. “You want your friend to come home again, don’t you?”

Pris stared at her grandmother, and nodded.

“Well, you can use the power of moonlight just like your granny can. Most folks around here don’t believe in such things, and them that do don’t think it’s right to use the gift, so you best keep quiet about what we’re up to–don’t you even tell your mama.”

“I promise I won’t, Granny.”

“All right, then. For this spell to work, the moonlight’s power has to be mixed with the truth, girl, and the truth is in your tears. You have to cry for Bobby Lee if you want him back–show your love and your need for him–and let your tears fall like rain on that picture so he knows how you feel.”

Pris held the photograph up close to her face. Moonlight reflected off the shiny oiled surface. Bobby Lee’s perfect dark eyes smiled up at her. She missed him so much her body ached with the pain.

The tears came easy.

Granny Maeve patted her gently on the back as she sobbed. “That’s good, my darlin’. Now talk to him, out loud, and tell him what you want.”

Pris took a deep, shaky breath, tasting the saltiness of her own tears. She gazed up at the moon’s brilliant face.

“Bobby Lee, come back to me. Come back to me, please.”

She repeated the phrases several times until her grandma told her she could stop. Wispy gray clouds had drifted across the moon.

“There now, child. It’s done.”

Granny Maeve spoke the truth. Bobby Lee and his parents moved back to Russell Fork right before Christmas, giving Priscilla the best present she had ever received.

***

During their sophomore year in high school, Bobby Lee fell for Kara Chambers. Pris wasn’t surprised–Kara was half-Korean and seemed exotic compared to all the other girls they knew. Her family had made a lot of money during the coal boom of ’74. Now they owned the flower shop in town and they also ran a catering business out of their grocery store.

Everybody talked about how perfect Kara and Bobby Lee were for each other and what a striking couple they made with their dark good looks. It wounded Pris to see them together, but she felt certain that one day Bobby Lee would realize Kara wasn’t right for him and that his best friend was also his true soul mate.

Even though Granny Maeve could have shown her how to speed up such an epiphany, Pris didn’t want to win Bobby Lee’s heart by using magic. No, his love for her had to be real or it would never last.

It was better to remain hopeful and suffer the wait.

In the meantime, Pris learned all she could from her grandmother about the power of moonlight. She dated a few boys who bored her and a few who didn’t. She talked to Bobby Lee whenever he made time for her. She never complained about the times he wouldn’t.

And when Kara dumped Bobby Lee right before graduation, Pris was there to pick up all the fragile little pieces of his heart. In June–on the summer solstice–she took him for a drive up to the top of Black Mountain, the highest peak in Kentucky. Pris made love to Bobby Lee on a rough blanket under the Rose Moon. He was her first.

She opened his eyes. He opened his heart.

Pris felt the power of their love and knew it was real.

“Bobby Lee, will you marry me?”
 

“THE WHITE DEATH & OTHER GHASTLY GHOST STORIES”

Mar 15 15

Thought I’d remind everyone that the Kindle edition of my short story collection, “The White Death and Other Ghastly Ghost Stories” is still available on Amazon. The collection includes ten dark tales – eight reprints and two new tales (see link for story descriptions). The eBook can also be found on iBooks, Kobo, Lulu.com, and online at Barnes & Noble as well.

Here’s the Table of Contents/Story Titles:

1.   The White Death

2.   Little White Casket

3.   Ghost Writer

4.   Angeline

5.   Flower Girl

6.   What Happened in the Cellar

7.   Frankie Revetta’s Favorite Chair

8.   Red Barchetta

9.   Playground for the Dead

10. The Power of Moonlight

The cool book cover is by English artist, Danielle Tunstall. Check out her page here.

I hope all of you have a sunny, spring-like St. Patrick’s Day.

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY – “HOTEL CALIFORNIA”

Feb 13 15

Happy Friday the 13th! Thought it was time for another flash fiction story from yours truly. This one mixes horror with humor: A salesman takes an unwise detour on his way to a Vegas convention. Hope your Friday the 13th isn’t unlucky, and your Valentine’s Day is memorable.

HOTEL CALIFORNIA

Lonnie Maitland was less than an hour away from Vegas and he felt dangerously tired. He had opted to drive to the mandatory software convention all the way from Sacramento because he absolutely hated to fly – the very thought of it made him queasy.

He yawned and switched on the radio. He got static at first, but then The Eagles blared forth with their classic hit, “Hotel California.” He turned the volume down and hit the scan button.

Another station was playing the same song.

Lonnie hit the scan button again. He could only pick up three stations in that area of the desert and “Hotel California” was on all of them.

“Hmm. Funny.”

He switched off the radio, thinking he should find a place to spend the night. Vegas would be there in the morning, but he wouldn’t be if he fell asleep at the wheel. Besides, the convention didn’t start until noon.

Another five miles raced by and then Lonnie noticed a blinking neon sign on the right side of the highway. It said, “HOTEL CALIFORNIA – Next Exit.” Strange coincidence, but still, it sounded like an interesting place – even though it was in the middle of nowhere.

Lonnie exited I-15 and followed the signs. He maneuvered his Taurus into the hotel’s deserted gravel lot and pulled up next to the entrance. It wasn’t what he’d expected. The rustic building was three stories tall and had a front porch that ran its entire length. The structure looked like it belonged in Dodge City, circa 1888.

He hoped it had a restaurant.

Lonnie entered the old-fashioned lobby and heard a TV on low volume, broadcasting a game show.

The place had a musty, rosewater smell. He walked up to the front desk, where he could just see the top of someone’s head on the other side.

“Excuse me. I need a room, please, just for one night.”

The old man got up slowly and turned around. He was dressed like a saloonkeeper. Without hesitating, he took a key out of a cubbyhole and handed it to Lonnie.

“Room 312. Pay in advance.”

Lonnie settled the bill.

“Is the restaurant still open?”

The old man shook his head and sat down again. “Vending machines are out back.”

Lonnie sighed. “Thanks.”

At least the place had an elevator that worked.

The interior décor was Victorian – including all of the furniture. Lonnie’s four-poster was almost too short for his long frame. He collapsed on it and switched on the little black and white TV across from his bed.

There was only one station and it was broadcasting an episode of The Twilight Zone. Lonnie tried to watch the show, but his stomach wouldn’t stop growling. He decided to grab a soda and some junk food.

Once downstairs, Lonnie nabbed a 7-Up out of the only vending machine that worked and reluctantly returned to the elevator.

Something didn’t feel right, and he hesitated a moment before stepping inside. When he pressed the button for the third floor, the contraption took off with a jolt.

The elevator reached the third floor – and continued climbing. Its speed increased.

“Whoa. What the hell?”

The elevator whined, reaching Floor 50, Floor 80, Floor 100. It finally stopped on the 200th level with an abruptness that sent Lonnie sprawling.

He got to his feet, his 7-Up wasted, just as the elevator doors opened.

Lonnie let out a girlish giggle. This was just a dream. He’d fallen asleep watching The Twilight Zone and now here he was in La-La Land.

He stepped out of the elevator into a circular, dimly lit room that was half the size of a football field. It looked like a garish lounge bar.

A waiter in a white coat appeared in front of him. He bore an extraordinary resemblance to Rod Serling.

No worries, Lonnie thought, I’ll go along for the ride.

“It’s good to see you again, sir,” the waiter said. “Your party is waiting.”

Lonnie noticed there were other people there, and grinned. He recognized all of them.

Elvis sat in a pink Cadillac, next to the lovely Miss Monroe. Abe Lincoln was engrossed in a philosophical discussion with Jim Morrison. Liberace tickled the ivories on a raised platform.

Lonnie followed the waiter over to a large, round table. It was set with crystal and fine china.

“Have a seat, Mr. Maitland.” The waiter rang a silver bell. “Attention, everyone, our guest of honor has arrived.”

“What’s the occasion?” Lonnie asked, as the dead celebrities gathered round.

The waiter smiled. “Your 40th birthday, your latest promotion, your recent divorce – the
occasion is whatever you wish it to be.”

That made sense – it was his dream – although he couldn’t figure out why Liberace had been included.

“I only invited the people you miss and admire most, sir.”

So Rod Serling could read minds? He still wasn’t perfect.

Lonnie smiled apologetically. “But I don’t like Liberace.”

Rod the Waiter snapped his fingers and the flamboyant pianist was instantly replaced with Frank Sinatra, who began belting out the lyrics to “My Way.”

“Later, Frank,” Elvis yelled, grabbing a seat next to Marilyn. “It’s time to eat.”

The party of six was treated to a sumptuous feast – all of Lonnie’s favorite dishes. The waiter was quick to clear the table and refill their champagne glasses.

Lincoln solemnly proposed a toast in Lonnie’s honor.

“I’m not sure this soirée was such a good idea,” Marilyn cooed.

“Take a valium, sweetheart,” Frank scolded, lighting a cigarette.

Jimbo slid underneath the table.

The waiter brought out a towering hot fudge sundae and presented it to Lonnie with a flourish.

Everyone watched as he shoved a hefty spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

“Aren’t you guys having dessert?” he asked, licking his lips.

The celebrities laughed hysterically, as if they were all in on a private joke.

When the room fell silent, Lonnie was allowed to see their true, grotesque forms. The lounge bar became a Mother Ship.

He was trapped in a nightmare.

“This is no nightmare, sir.”

As a dozen green tentacles snaked around his waist, Lonnie suddenly remembered why he was afraid to fly.

“HORNS” (DVD REVIEW)

Jan 12 15

“Horns” is based on the novel by Joe Hill, and for the life of me I can’t understand how I never got around to reading it. I’ve read all of Joe’s other books and loved them. That’s why I didn’t pay much attention to the mixed reviews this movie received upon its release last fall.

I have no idea how the film compares to the novel (screenplay by Keith Bunin), but I’m happy to say I got a kick out of this flick, which was directed by Alexandre Aja. Part horror-fantasy, part comedy, and part murder mystery, it’s a genre-bending blend of fun.

Twenty-something Ignatius Perrish (Daniel Radcliffe) is in a sorry state. Grief-stricken over the murder of his longtime girlfriend (Juno Temple) and wrongfully accused of the crime, he is now a pariah in the Washington logging town where he grew up. Even his parents (James Remar, Kathleen Quinlan) and his drug addicted older brother (Joe Anderson) think he’s guilty of the brutal rape and killing. The ethereally beautiful Merrin was found slain beneath the idyllic treehouse hideaway she shared with Ig, her head caved in by a rock. Ig and Merrin had had a very heated, very public argument on the night in question. It doesn’t help matters that Ig can’t remember anything that happened afterwards, and the only person willing to help him fight the murder charge is his childhood friend Lee (Max Minghella) – a straight-laced public defender who once saved Ig’s life when they were kids.

But even Lee thinks it’s doubtful his friend will be cleared, and Ig is soon overwhelmed by the constant harassment from the media and the town’s residents. After a night of heavy drinking and all-out debauchery, Ig wakes up with a mother of a hangover and something else he wasn’t expecting: a pair of budding horns. The painful protuberances grow fast and he can’t find a way to get rid of them. Oddly enough, his friend Lee is the only one who can’t see the horns. Everyone else is unperturbed when they notice them growing out of Ig’s forehead, and for some reason they can’t resist the urge to confess their sins and secret desires to him. Ig is horrified at first, but then he realizes he can use the horns’ power to help him find Merrin’s killer.

I enjoyed the twists and turns, the flashback scenes and the over-the-top confessions (disturbing and often hilarious). Don’t expect a positive portrayal of small town life in this raunchy, violent supernatural thriller. I also don’t agree with the comparisons to “Twin Peaks.” That TV show was a whole different sort of surreal – and it had quite a few likeable characters. I can’t say I liked any of the characters in this movie except for Ig and Merrin. (Well, perhaps Merrin’s devastated father, played by David Morse.)

Daniel Radcliffe’s intensely emotional performance is superb, as is Juno Temple’s. (They both achieve convincing American accents as well.) I think if a less talented actor had taken on the role of Ig Perrish, the results could have been disastrously corny. Even when Ig begins to embrace the dark side, seemingly becoming a real devil, it didn’t strike me as cheesy or implausible. Radcliffe has an appealing presence and it was easy to care about his unfortunate character.

I’d recommend this film to fans of dark fantasy and horror (who don’t mind a hefty dose of black comedy). It’s devilishly delightful. (Pun intended.)

HAVE YOURSELF A SCARY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

Dec 14 14

Happy Holidays. Like many of you who celebrate Christmas, every year when I hear that Andy Williams song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” I always wonder about the lyrics that say, “There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago.” Christmas isn’t usually a time for horror tales, but there are movies and TV shows that beg to differ. I’ve decided to list five of my favorites.

“And All Through the House” – Tales From the Crypt (British TV Series/1972)

The first time I saw this old episode on late night TV, I couldn’t help but be impressed. Joan Collins plays a wife without good cheer who murders her husband with a fireplace poker on Christmas Eve. Naughty. As she’s trying to dispose of the body, an escaped homicidal maniac dressed as Santa tries to break into her house. Alas, she can’t call the police because she’s just committed a dirty deed. Love it!

“How The Ghosts Stole Christmas” – The X Files (TV Series/Season 6, Episode 6/1998)

The X Files is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. In this holiday offering, agents Mulder and Scully end up investigating a house on Christmas Eve that’s supposedly haunted by a pair of doomed lovers who killed themselves eighty-odd years before. Ed Asner and Lily Tomlin are wicked and delightful as the ghost couple, Maurice and Lyda. The two string the FBI agents along, while providing insights into Mulder and Scully’s relationship and personalities. This episode is in my top ten favorites.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (Movie/2010)

This is a Finnish film, based on the premise that Santa Claus has always been evil. (Think of the early European myth of the horned Yule Goat who demanded gifts on Christmas Eve, and who worked with a sidekick called Krampus – a red demon who punished naughty children.) Trouble starts when an archaeologist digs up Santa’s old tomb. Now no one in the Finnish village is safe. This flick is a mix of horror, fantasy and comedy – definitely off-kilter.

Gremlins (Movie/1984)

Everyone is probably familiar with this flick. A salesman (Hoyt Axton) buys his son Billy (Zach Galligan) a magwai for Christmas. But the cute, furry little creatures have a very dark side, and if you feed them after midnight or get them wet, you will find out how much trouble they can be. Of course, Billy can’t follow the rules, and his town soon suffers the consequences. Phoebe Cates also stars as Billy’s girlfriend. (Her story about her dad’s gruesome death struck me as funny, though it wasn’t meant to be.)

A Christmas Carol (TV Movie/1984)

Yeah, I know. Dickens isn’t scary, really, but there are some spooky moments in the beginning, when Ebenezer Scrooge (played by George C. Scott) is visited by his late business partner, Jacob Marley. I love this movie despite the sentimentality, and this is my favorite version out of all of them. But still, I often ask myself why I let Tiny Tim gut me like a fish every December.

And there you have it. Speaking of spooky tales, if you like scary fiction, please check out my latest eBook release, available on Amazon and other online stores, called “The White Death and Other Ghastly Ghost Stories.” It definitely isn’t for kids!

Hope all of you have a safe and happy holiday season.

“THE WHITE DEATH” (EXCERPT)

Oct 23 14

It’s my favorite time of year, so I’m posting an excerpt from the first dark tale in my collection, “The White Death & Other Ghastly Ghost Stories.” In the “The White Death,” a reluctant candy striper suffers through a night of hell in a hospital that used to treat tuberculosis victims. (The setting is my favorite haunted place in Louisville – Waverly Hills Sanatorium.)

Have yourself a wicked little Halloween.

THE WHITE DEATH

Brenda Morris climbed out of her foster mother’s ’64 Buick Riviera and slammed the passenger door shut. She was supposed to have Thursday nights off, but the old bat was forcing her to fill in for another candy striper that’d gotten sick at the last minute.

Yeah, sick of working at a geriatric sanitarium, probably.

Brenda stalked away from the car without bothering to wave goodbye and headed towards the institution’s imposing main entrance.

She took a deep breath, savoring the brisk October air, and gazed up at the gothic monstrosity that was Woodhaven. A full moon hung so low over the hilltop structure that it appeared to teeter upon the bell-tower.

She stood still for a moment to admire the effect. “That’s just so bitchin’.”

A whirlwind of dry leaves skittered past her, and she exhaled slowly. No use putting it off any longer.

Brenda entered the ornate lobby and wrinkled her nose. One never got used to the cool mustiness and the smell of stale urine. Quite often, the pitiful moans of elderly residents could be heard echoing down the long hallways.

No wonder the place was short staffed.

Brenda climbed the winding staircase to the second floor. Before beginning her rounds, she paid a visit to one of the restrooms to wash her hands and run a comb through her auburn curls. She smiled ruefully at her reflection in the smudged mirror. The red and white striped apron made her look like a sweet, innocent fifteen-year-old.

Brenda’s foster mother – her seventh in so many years – no doubt wished it were true. The witch had busted her one too many times for smoking and sneaking out at night to meet up with The Wrong Crowd. She’d given Brenda an ultimatum: Volunteer at one of the local hospitals several evenings a week or spend some time in Juvenile Hall.

Brenda had picked Woodhaven because her dark nature was drawn to its morbid history. For several depressing decades it had been used as a sanatorium for those suffering from The White Death. Tuberculosis had claimed thousands of lives here – not including the suicides it had provoked among patients and nurses alike.

But, God, I’d rather die of a disease than grow old and useless, Brenda thought, leaving the restroom. She could hear a woman yelling just down the hall.

It was Mrs. Hauser in Room 212.

“Somebody help! She took it away! It’s mine and she stole it from me!”

Brenda reached the room and paused in the doorway, grimacing at the all too familiar sight. The old lady stood by her bed stark naked. She stared at Brenda with watery gray eyes full of righteous anger.

“Mrs. Hauser, calm down and tell me what happened.” Brenda hurried over and grabbed a blanket off the bed to wrap around the woman’s cold, saggy body.

“A strange little girl took my new robe. My pretty blue robe is gone – it’s gone and I want it back now!”

Brenda sighed. Mrs. Hauser was hallucinating again. It was probably another patient – they were always “borrowing” things from one other.

“Okay, stay here and I’ll go look for it. I’m sure the girl didn’t go very far.”

Brenda went back out into the hall, and a noise caused her to glance right, towards the elevator. Just before the doors slid shut she caught a glimpse of something blue.

Here we go.

Brenda hurried over and punched the UP button. Catching the person would be easier now. For some freaky reason, every elevator in the building insisted on visiting the basement first, no matter what floor was chosen.

She wasn’t really bothered by this fact – it just made the place more interesting.

Brenda listened to the distressing hum of the contraption as it ascended. It passed the first floor and then stopped. The doors opened slowly.
Empty. This meant the thief had gotten out on the basement level.

Well, they are loony, after all.

Brenda rode the elevator down and waited impatiently for the doors to open. When they did, she was grateful to see that the hall light had been left on. At least the morgue was located clear over on the other side of the basement.

Not that she was afraid of dead people. What could they do? It was the live ones that were scary.

As she exited the elevator, Brenda heard a cough behind her. She turned and looked as the doors began to close, but she saw no one.

“The White Death & Other Ghastly Ghost Stories” is available on Amazon (also B&N, iBooks, etc.)

www.amazon.com/White-Death-Other-Ghastly-Stories-ebook/dp/B009SQTHXI/ref=sr_1_1

FLASH FICTION FRIDAY – “FIFTY WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER”

Sep 26 14

Time for some free flash fiction. Here’s my tale about a man who desperately tries to find a way out of a hopeless relationship. (Hey, when I was in New Orleans, I was tempted to believe in voodoo as well.) Hope you enjoy the story.

“Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover”

Conrad Lucas heaved himself up to a standing position – blocking out the Houston skyline – and leaned forward against his Texas-sized desk. He stared at Doug the way a chained pit bull would eye a stray toddler.

“Not only are you moving back in with my sister, Wainwright, you’re gonna take her along on that business trip to New Orleans next week and you’re gonna propose. Have I made myself crystal-fucking-clear?”

Lucas had connections to every good guy/bad guy west of the Mississippi. Defiance would mean having to leave town and never being employed at a lending institution again…if he was even allowed to live.

Doug coughed. “Uh, yes, sir. Completely.”

His boss let out a grunt of satisfaction and sank into his massive leather chair. “When you two get back here, I’d better see a rock on my little sister’s finger that’s heavy enough to throw her back outta whack.”

She’ll get a big one, all right, Doug thought. And hopefully the skinny, blonde dingbat would choke on it.

***
He’d tried every way – short of hiring a hit man – to get out of his relationship with Charlene. As that Paul Simon song said, “There must be fifty ways to leave your lover.” Doug had left the little fool countless times, but her suicide attempts and stalking tactics, along with threats from the filthy rich Lucas family, always forced him back into her waiting arms.

And now he was going to propose.

“New Orleans is so romantic, hon,” Charlene gushed. “I just know this trip will be good for us.”

Doug grimaced as they entered their spacious, fifth floor hotel room. It had a wrought-iron balcony that overlooked rowdy Bourbon Street.

“Let me freshen up and then we’ll go to Antoine’s for dinner.” Charlene kicked off her high heels and headed for the bathroom. “Is that okay, hon?”

“Lovely.”

They’d only be in town for three days. He’d have to spring the hefty diamond on her before Wednesday. Doug figured he might be able to get through the ordeal if he drank enough Hurricanes.

***
Doug often wondered what had caused Charlene to become obsessed with him. He was just an average guy, after all.

It didn’t matter now anyway. It was Tuesday, and he would have to do “the dirty deed” right after dinner.

When his meeting wrapped up, Doug took a cab back to his hotel. But instead of heading up to his room, he decided to roam around the French Quarter. He was bound to enjoy the sights more without the magpie tagging along.

Noisy Bourbon Street was teeming with happy tourists. The humid air smelled like beer and spicy food. Doug could hear the upbeat strains of a Zydeco tune wafting out of a smoke-filled tavern.

It wasn’t long before he happened upon a fortuneteller’s shop. Colorful voodoo dolls were lined up on the other side of the window, and he paused to take a look, grinning.

If only it would work.

A pretty black girl opened the door of the little shop and motioned for him to step inside.

“Madame Lafay can help you, sir. She can cast spells for love and money – whatever you need. Come see.”

Her offer was too hard to resist. And he was in no hurry to get back to the hotel.

***
The spell Doug chose was meant to turn a lover’s heart to stone and end a hopeless relationship. He felt silly having a gris-gris bag in his pocket, but he was desperate to believe. And if it actually worked it would be worth far more than the $50.00 he’d spent.

There were other spells he could have tried, but if something happened to Charlene, Lucas would undoubtedly hold him responsible.

This mojo was much safer.

Doug rode the elevator up to the top floor of the hotel. Charlene was waiting for him in their suite, dressed to the nines. Chanel No. 5 hung heavy in the air. A small table smothered with china, crystal and silver had been set up near the open balcony doors.

Charlene smiled as he crossed the room. Doug leaned down and kissed her, and a delicious cold chill raced through his limbs.

He was suddenly hit with the realization that Charlene looked like a movie star. He felt like the luckiest man on earth.

She stepped away from him and her smile faded. Her face now wore an expression of puzzlement mixed with irritation.

“You’re late,” she said.

That was the sexiest voice he’d ever heard. Doug wanted to sweep Charlene up in his arms, carry her over to the bed, and make love to her in every position under the freaking sun.

“The meeting ran late.” What an idiot he’d been to keep her waiting like this. “I’ll make it up to you, sweetheart, I promise.”

“Forget it. I don’t know what I thought I saw in you, but it’s over.”

Doug couldn’t believe his ears. He dropped to his knees in front of her. “Charlene, honey, you don’t mean that. We were meant to be together.”

She laughed. “I can’t even stand to be in the same room with you.”

Charlene tried to step around him, but he jumped up and blocked her path.

“No, I can’t live without you.” Doug took the black velvet box out of his coat pocket and showed her the six-karat diamond. “Marry me.”

She snatched the ring from him and ran out onto the balcony. “Here’s what I think of your proposal.”

Doug reached her before she could throw the ring, but he’d rammed up against the rusted railing with too much force. Charlene was struggling, trying to hold on to the diamond, when a section of the wrought-iron gave way, sending her over the edge.

Doug grabbed her left hand. Now he could see the gris-gris bag she’d hidden around her neck, underneath her frilly blouse.

“I don’t need your stinking help, you spineless moron.” Charlene reached up with her right hand and dug her long, pointy fingernails into his flesh.

Doug screamed and let go. He watched Charlene fall away from him. He saw her body break on the sidewalk.

She was his one true love. Doug knew what he had to do.

He hurled himself off the balcony to be with her forever.